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  • Writer's pictureChristina V. Mills

Habari Gani? I Can't Lose. And Neither Can You.

Everything is gain.

Photo by ArjandeJong

Wednesday, January 3, 2024

Last Quarter Moon

Recently, someone told me that parting ways with an old friend and mentor was unfortunate. I thought about it for a couple of days. What was unfortunate about it? Certainly at the moment it was uncomfortable, but I had always thought of the incident as for my benefit, so I found it interesting that after all these years, someone fed me that negative thought. I mulled it over for a couple of days before talking to the person about it. Of course, they didn't mean to be negative, but it made me really think about why I considered an incident that someone else would consider to be unfortunate to be tremendously positive.

On the surface, many people appear to have been taught to look at life as difficult and as any type of change as inherently negative. A worldly interpretation looks at the surface and judges based on the immediate effect. A breakup is "bad." A death is "sad." Rain is "gloomy." Moving is "difficult." These interpretations often cause us to look longingly at the past, but this is often shortsighted, failing to see the big picture, and causing us to have negative emotions about the present and the future.

On a spiritual level, things are often completely the opposite than these surface interpretations. A breakup can be the best thing that ever happened to you. A death is actually a birth into a new realm. Rain is welcome nourishment for the earth and water for us to sustain ourselves. Moving is an opportunity to open up a new chapter.

We must be very careful how we label things. Simply labeling something as unfortunate or fortunate can cause us to feel totally different emotions about it and as a result have a completely different set of actions in response.

After the incident in question, I went on to spread my wings, strike it out on my own, and develop my business in new and exciting ways. If the situation had not occurred, I knew that I had no intention of departing from my mentor and would not have grown in the beautiful ways I did when forced to go it alone. So while on the surface, at first the separation may have been uncomfortable, even when it happened, I knew that it was an opportunity for me to evolve and to rise to the challenge of a new level.

In life, we are always moving in a forward trajectory. Just as the earth is always moving forward through the universe, we, too, are always moving forward. Any perception of moving backward is literally only in our minds, as we are always evolving and moving forward. Like a bow and arrow, the pull back is only there to catapult us even farther forward. The brief moment of setback is so that we can gain even more, even faster, and go even farther. Even if you're playing a simple betting game and you lose the game or even money in the short term, there is always gain somewhere, if you look on the spiritual level because we are always continuing to move forward. The gain is often in the form of spiritual growth, knowledge, and leveling up, and the gain is always greater than any perceived loss.

The only way you can lose is if you give up, give in or take on a shortsighted thought pattern, living in the past.

When we are at the moment of graduating from one level to another, we quite literally have to break with people, places, and things from the previous level in order to move upward to the new level. Often, this looks like ending friendships, moving, closing a business, or even a spiritual death. Those who have a fixed mindset will say, "Oh how said that ended," but those with a growth mindset will say, "Oh, how exciting!"

It's all how you look at it.



Christina V. Mills is the creator of Liveology® Yoga Studios & Magazine. She is a lifelong spiritual seeker, writer, and yoga teacher. Follow her on Instagram @morelifemoreyoga.


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Peace & Pineapples!


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